Category Archives: Ennui

Posts written whilst in the iron grips of everlasting ennui.

Still diseased part 2

Still diseased part 2

So those reasons I mentioned in my last post? Here they are:

  • I’m so stuffed and headachy and I just want to lie down.
  • I’ve got a bunch of pictures that I need to pull off of my camera and organize, since almost all of them are going up on either or here.
  • I’m sort of itching for more Sins of a Solar Empire.
  • I want to get back to work on my… what is it now, 4 restaurant reviews, 2 candy bar reviews, and 1 cereal review that I have lined up for Several of them have written drafts, a couple have drafts in my head, and none of them are complete or have the accompanying photos ready to go. I want to put an end to my neglectful website updating ways!
  • My DVR is so backlogged and I really need to make a dent in that.
  • Investigate why’s RSS feeds work in some browsers and RSS readers and not others.
  • And finally, Super Mario Galaxy 2! Wa-hoo! Note: It’s way harder than the first one.

So yeah, that’s what I wanted to get done tonight. Of that, I’ve made progress on the reviews, completed the sorting of my pictures, searched fruitlessly for an answer the the RSS weirdness and watched a saved episode of SGU. I’m moving at like half speed today otherwise I think I would have gotten more done. Anyway, I’m going back to working on the RSS issue for a little while longer, then I’ll be heading to bed to read until I pass out.

Still diseased

Still diseased

A quick post today, brought to you by the last few minutes of my lunch. I’m still feeling blah, but I’m at work because I do feel better somewhat and I don’t want to use any more sick time this year unless I really need it. I can’t wait to go home today for many reasns which I’ll elaborate on further since I gotta head back to work.

Some Heat Delirium Fueled Thoughts

Some Heat Delirium Fueled Thoughts

Its 88 degrees last I checked. Truly a beautiful day. There are some downsides though. For one, I’m trying to fight off some disease I got at work. That’s right, I’m diseased again. Hate it, but I’m good and medicated. For another, having a beefcake computer means that trying to game on it is like sunning yourself on the side of an active volcano. Even just having it on is no picnic. I spent some time outside earlier today, until the bugs started after me. The warmer weather is great, except when its not. At least I can update my neglected website via my shiny, lovely Droid. Speaking of which, version 2.2 of the Android OS is out now for Nexus One phones and should be out soon for other Android phones. I can’t wait for it to hit mine. I seriously love this phone. Possibly one of the best purchases I’ve made in a long time.

Oh God there’s a giant death bee hovering outside my window. Its just waiting for an opportunity to get inside and eat me. God I hate bees and related insects. Well, I hate all insects, but I hate bee-like bastards more than the others. Damn its still there. GET OUT OF HERE, YOU STUPID STINGING BASTARD!

I wonder where they find the hot chicks on Law & Order. Right now I’m watching saved episodes of a bunch of shows, Law & Order among them and these women are smoking hot. The guest stars are almost always people I’ve never heard of, but damn. I’m a PC and hot chicks were my idea. Or something.

Look, I know it doesn’t make sense. It doesn’t have to. Who asked you anyway? Shut up!

Time for some FlashForward!

Someone needs to cast cleanse on me

Someone needs to cast cleanse on me

Srsly. I’ve been diseased since like Christmas. It needs to stop. I slept like forever today. Isn’t that supposed to cure disease? Rest? I’m sure I heard that somewhere once.

At work, they reset your sick and personal time each year in December. They pay out any unused time and start the counter over. You get all your personal time at once, but your sick time trickles in a few hrs each month. Since I went home early on Saturday, I have like 3 hrs left. If I’m still running a fever tomorrow, I’m going to have to call out and use my personal time which really kind of sucks. Especially with the whole starting a new position and all. Oh, and the being in training bit, which ends this week. I hate being sick. I hate goofy company policies even more, though. Who the hell resets sick time in the middle of COLD AND FLU SEASON. Truly an inspired decision.

I’d rather not call out, but I guess it all depends on how I feel in the morning. I’ll end by quoting myself from a previous post where I quoted the Despair newsletter: “Rock out with your frock out!”

That still makes me laugh. Isn’t laughter supposed to cure disease? Laughter? I’m sure I heard that somewhere once.

Le sigh.

Le sigh.

Why am I up this late and not tired? I should be tired. I want to sleep, but not really. I know I should sleep, even though I don’t have anywhere to be tomorrow. It’s 2:13 AM; sleeping is simply what’s done at this time by polite society.

I’m polite society, right?

Shouldn’t I sleep? I want to… do… stuff. Like watch a DVD or play a video game or read a book. But then I think about actually doing it and I’m like “Nah, I don’t really want to do that. I honestly have no desire for it.”

I should sleep. That would be a good thing, I think. I wouldn’t be suffering from this ennui. But I’m not too sure that I want to sleep. I could get in my car and go someplace, but gas is expensive to just fritter away and also there’s not actually a place for me to go here at 2:16 AM.

Then again, there might be a place to go here at 2:16 AM, but I bet its where the cool kids go and I don’t get invited to those places. I’m not on the guest list.

I got a message on my voicemail on my cell phone. I wish I knew who it was from or what it was about. You know how when you talk on a cell phone sometimes and the other person’s words cut in and out because of bad reception or microwaves or gnomes or whatever? It was like that. I think I heard maybe 3 complete words and the rest was grunting sounds and halting nonsense. It was so bad that I couldn’t even tell who it was. I hope it wasn’t important. I didn’t get any follow-up messages or anything, so I guess not.

I feel like I should have a real job. One with a real salary and real responsibilities and real humans that work there, not refugees from the glass sorting factory. Maybe I’m getting old or maybe its an effect of me graduating, but summer vacation is starting to feel wrong. I need a grad school or a real job.

It occurs to me that I haven’t used a single naughty word this entire post. I’m tempted to use one now, just because.

I don’t think I will.

Why is it that some people are all like “Naughty words are bad and only immature people say them” but then those same people who think this way also prevent the most immature people of all, children, from saying them. When children say naughty words these hypocrites are all like “Don’t say naughty words because its bad! That’s adult language and you’re not an adult.” Something about this… something about it just doesn’t seem right, you know? Is it adult language or immature language? The movies seem to think its adult language because they don’t let kids see movies that have naughty words in them.

I use naughty words. A lot. What does that make me?

I have no idea when to use “its” and when to use “it’s.” MS Word’s grammar check yells at me whenever I use one and makes me change it, but then it yells at me again and makes me change it back, and then it yells again and this goes on for some time. I think I knew once which one to use when, but now I don’t. I should look it up.

You know what’s really bad? I’m writing this and I’m not even drunk or high or anything. There really is no excuse for it.